I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize