I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
