HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
