He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
