I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He kissed a someone with a penis
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
