I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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