Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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