I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
