bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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