Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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