yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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