I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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