says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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