Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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