Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
