We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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