It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
