Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Vodka?
Forever.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
