My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
