yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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