3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
