I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
