you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
