Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
