he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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