You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
