It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
