I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
