i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
