Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
