I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
