just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
