I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What drink are we having for lunch?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
