Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize