it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
