the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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