Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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