I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
