You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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