then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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