I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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