My first STD was from a foam party
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
