so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
