It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
