i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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