I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Christians are straight up FREAKS
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize