ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
