Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
