I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
