The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
