yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
