'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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