You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
