big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
