Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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