Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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