Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize