Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I smell stomach acid.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Houston, we have a squirter
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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