I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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