the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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