Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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