That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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