I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
