I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
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